My mum was a real force of nature and passed away suddenly but peacefully recently.
I wanted to publish my eulogy in her memory.
It goes like this:
Mum.
Firstly, I can see so many familiar faces here today, including people I haven’t seen for years.
I know that seeing so many people here would have made her incredibly happy.
Friendship meant everything to her.
On behalf of Sarah, Rhiann and myself, and the rest of our family, thank you all for being here today, for your messages, your kindness, your support, and for those joining us online.
It has meant more to us than you’ll ever know.
—-
As you all know, my mum was an amazing human being.
My mum was amazing at many things, but she was especially great at solving problems.
Her 20 plus years as a theatre manager meant that her job involved managing actors and directors: creative people with very strong opinions. But she always treated people with kindness.
This was a lesson that I’ve taken with me – above all else, she taught me to do the right thing by people. Always. Without exception. And without ever stopping to think about the personal cost.
And If you ever asked my mum for advice, she never left it there. The next day there would be an email, a WhatsApp or a phone call because she’d thought of something else overnight that might help.
Her advice was always sensible, always kind, and almost always exactly what you needed to hear.
And it wasn’t just me. Or my sisters. Or My nieces for that matter.
Looking around the room, I can already see a few knowing smiles. I suspect many of you received exactly the same treatment.
She simply couldn’t stop helping people.
She would quite literally have given you the shirt off her back without a second thought.
That was the measure of her. Thoughtful. Loyal. Kind.
They are wonderful qualities.
On a slightly lighter note, though…The best story has to come from a trip we took together. I was lucky enough through work to spend some time in the Bahamas, and I managed to take Mum with me.
It was a hard life, honestly.
So one evening, after I’d finished “working” we were chatting and I was asking her how her day had been. She said:
“Son, it was lovely…but as a matter of fact, I met a gigolo today.”
I remember thinking, where on earth is this conversation going?
She said,
“He told me he specialised in taking older ladies somewhere they hadn’t been for a very long time.”
She continued:
“But – you know he seemed awfy confused when I said…what… Renfrew?”
After I’d finished laughing, I then asked:
“Well… was he at least good looking?”
She said,
“No… and he smelt really bad as well!”
That was my Mum.
Funny. Quick-witted. Great company. Always ready with the perfect comeback.
Many of my old colleagues knew her exactly that way.
And that’s what I’ll remember most.
…
My mum always told me she was proud of me.
But she never once asked whether I was proud of her.
Today, I’d like to answer that question with just three words.
Every single day.
Mum, I’ll be proud of you for the rest of my life.
And finally…
Mum…
I just want to tell you that I’m so glad that I came back from Australia to spend just a little
more time with you. Every day without you will feel like an eternity.
There is a hole in our hearts that I’m not sure will ever be filled.
I will miss you every single moment for the rest of my life, and I would give anything for just another few minutes with you 💔💔💔
I’d like to finish by reading the ending of a poem that my mum sent me as I was leaving to go to Australia, it broke my heart then, and it’s even more poignant now:
“I miss you with every beat of my heart.
Oh I always did”
Mum – I will miss you with every beat of my heart – and I always will.